My Dark World

consumed by the thoughts 
that race in my mind 
overwhelmed by the feelings 
that fester inside 
withdrawn from the things 
that I love in my life 
blinded by the dark 
that fills up my eyes 

the blinders I wear 
forced upon me 
by the pain that I feel 
and the light that I seek 
I focus upon the things 
I can see 
but only if they 
pertain to my need 

in the dark where I 
live 
struggle 
and fight 
unable to see past 
the dark to the light 
the demons at play 
hinder my sight 
as the ghosts from the past 
taunt with delight 

the world where I live 
is not the one that should be 
but the demons 
and ghosts 
would fast disagree 
with my blinders in place 
they can so guarantee 
that I'll stay in the dark 
and never be free

Smile

I always wear smile on my face, because kindness has always been my best disguise It grabs your attention, keeps you oblivious to the murder in my eyes. My smile is a clever tool, for it makes you think I'm harmless If only you could see the ways I've imagined torturing you and watching you die. Your death brings me pleasure, and knowing it's by my hands adds so much to the thrill You should be grateful that my thoughts and dreams are the only places in which I kill. The animal in me is definitely something you never want to meet Because that would end with me smiling over you, splattered with your blood, listening to your fading heartbeat. I would strip down your barriers with my innocent smile, and with smooth words gain your trust All to make you a broken pawn in my sick game that I play to satisfy my bloodlust. After capturing you, I would let you think you had a chance, telling you I'd only keep you for a couple days In reality, the only reason I would let you even live that long is to have fun torturing you in many different ways. You think it's fun now, pissing me off as if it's nothing but a joke, and that's really fine I'll sit back with my mask on, and act like you aren't about to cross a certain line. Unknown to you there will come a time when I get fed up and won't take anymore And I'll let that animal out so you can meet her and the smile to die for.

My Calm

punching walls keep my calm bloody knuckles dont last long suicide wont help now tidal waves crashing down corpse afloat leave the boat we might survive you never know anger shows the ocean knows blood is pouring my mind is sharp my actions quick i want to know what makes you tick punching walls killing you keep my calm from spilling too

Scared

I saw you standing there,
it takes all my will to be pretend
I just don't care.
Nothing ever comes easily to me,
but in my darkest hour
you're all that I can see.
I feel your hate,
your confusion, your fear.
I can take it all away,
if only you let me near.
Its hard for you,
trust me,
you scare me too.

Like a Fool

I underestimated the search
and came out a fool.
I looked for answers everywhere
 and everywhere found ghouls.
i journeyed through the lowest valleys
with shadows as my fuel.
I searched for this thing you call love,
and all I found was cruel.

Darkness

Sitting alone, no one is home,
darkness overcomes her soul.
she tries to be strong,
but in the end i was wrong.
not them. me. I guess i'm not meant to be.
A mistake, nothing.
My smiles are fake,
very few see those that are true.
Lost, confused and so cold.
But here in the darkness is where i grow.

Sinner

God doesn't like us very much does he?

Bits of glitter stuck to the sky

livers live and sinners die.

people in pain, no one knows why.

we each see things

and we each are so blind.

alone in yourself,

falling out of my mind.

Colors

Black and white suit her
like color never would,
and she lets them love her
like you never could.
You think you can reach her
cause she looks so damn soft
but if you really get there
you'll find she's made of rocks.
She'll still come on over
and throw her lips onto yours
its in the way she moves them
you can see she's been through wars.

I Have To...

Writing is a gift, But when left unattended, Transforms into a curse. Everyday, every time, every line, every rhyme. You're addicted and you can't stop. You try, but your mind reacts like you've committed a crime. You start to tear yourself apart from the inside. You try and try but every time you try You die a little inside. This is the last time, this is the last rhyme. But it's not. You'll reach for the pen and paper again. And again, you'll say that this is the end. But it's not. Day after day your mind will be at play. Weaving reality into fiction until you can't fight it anymore. You're torn. Remain in a world where it's fair game, or create your own twisted domain?